A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
