Do jokes
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Memes
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?