Do jokes
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
Memes
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Why do orphans become criminals?
So they can become wanted for once.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
What do Emos say to each other?
"I like your cuts, G."
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.