Disney

Disney Jokes

Sex

Things you say before sex, Disney addition:

"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"

Mama

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

Orphan

Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?

Because for them, love isn't an open door.

Kid

My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.

Pooh

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

Wish

Make a wish.

Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

Company

If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.

P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.

Cinderella

Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"

School shooting

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

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