Discount jokes

Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Want to save 50% on your Chinese?

Just ask before you pay.

Scan my wrist for 75% off!

I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.

It gave me a discount!

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com

Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?

Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

What is the legal term for shoplifting?

10 fingers discount.