Discipline

Discipline jokes

Grade

    • When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

    Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

    Stuff

    • The Good Old Days.

    You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

  • 1

    • Keyboard

    • My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.

    I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.

  • 2
    • Discipline memes

    Sister

    • My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

    Wife

    • A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”

    The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

    So the teachers will call their parents.

  • 1

    • Grade

    • My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

    Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

    She lets him play anyway and I don't.

  • 1

    • Mom

    • Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.

    Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!

    Field Trip

    • My field trip at school earlier:

    Little Timmy (angrily): "I WANT MY IPAD!"

    Ms. Melina: "We can have it at school if you turn your day around."

    Little Timmy: "BUT I WANT IT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"

    Ms. Melina: "But we're heading back to school."

    Little Timmy: "B**TCH, I HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING HOME!"

    Little Timmy *starts banging the bus window*

    Little Timmy: "THAT’S IT, I F**KING HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING TO CANADA!"

    Ms. Melina: "TIMMY, STOP IT! THE SCHOOL IS GONNA MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT WINDOW IF YOU BREAK IT!"

    Me: "Let’s just tell his family to move to Shadow Bay anyways because Red Oaks would be so f**king good for him."

    *Window breaks*

    Ms. Melina: "STOP THAT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"

    Little Timmy: "BUT JEFFY AND JUNIOR ARE PICKING ME UP AND TAKING ME TO F**KING CANADA RIGHT NOW! LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE!"

    Ms. Melina: "THAT’S IT TIMMY, YOU'RE SO F**KING BUSTED! I’M CALLING MS. ALEJANDRA RIGHT NOW!"

    The end.

  • 0

    • Cookie

    • So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.

    So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"

    So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!

  • 6

    • Son

    • Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

  • 1

    • Detention

    • There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."

  • 1