Disability jokes
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
How does Helen Keller say "dad?"
I don’t know, but you should ask her... wait, never mind, she can’t talk.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.