Disability jokes
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
Why did Stephen Hawking walk across the road? Oh wait...
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
"What do we want?" "HEARING AIDS!" "When do we want them?" "HEARING AIDS!"
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car? IHOP
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
You can say what you want about deaf people...
I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.