Disability jokes
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?
Because he's a quadriplegic.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?
Durrrrrrrr.
My friend is blind so he can "no see."
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.