Disability jokes
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP