Disability jokes
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.