Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Disability Jokes
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
