Disability jokes
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.