Disability jokes

For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?

He blacks out.

What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?

Drool.

What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?

"ERROR"

It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!

If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.

Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.

Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?

Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?

As fat as Ben Dingley.

How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.

You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!

What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?

Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.

I heard Microsoft got charged, why?

They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.

Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?

Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.

Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.

In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.

He's not dead, his batteries have run out.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?