Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Q: What's the best part about gardening? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick" His boss replies, "you don't sound sick" The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry 🧺 jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? -- One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
if someone calls you dirty minded just say
You are dirty minded as well if you understand what im saying
roses are red but grass is greener when i think of you i play with my weiner
i nailed my sister's............ picture on the wall
you dirty minded bastard.
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. "It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn Pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper🍆🍔
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty? Answer: A chalkboard
A woman walks in to a dentists office sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the woman replies last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out.