Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!

Q: What’s the best part about gardening? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

Why is Santa’s sack so big?

He only comes once a year

Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.

The teacher asks her class “What is sex?” and Little Jonny stands up and says “sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl’s destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?” and the teacher fainted.

Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

A. Toothpaste.

What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?

A cock sucker

You watch 50 shades of gray, and you turn gray in bed.

Why is the mermaid so dirty?

Because she is a maid, mer-maid

if someone calls you dirty minded just say

You are dirty minded as well if you understand what im saying

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, “I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.”

The blonde thinks, “I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him.”

The Frenchman thinks, “I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.”

The Englishman thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.”

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m fucking my sister” and hangs up the phone

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.

What do you call an expert fisherman?

A “MASTER-BAITER”.

Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry 🧺 jokes?

Because they always come out clean.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped

Q. What’s long, hard, and scary when you first see it?

A. Calculus homework.