Dick's jokes
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?
His dick tastes funny...
My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
What wiggles and waggles?
A floppy dick!
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
Nick sucks dick.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.
Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.
And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")
But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)
Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket
So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)
And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)
I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long
My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real
China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.
"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"
I have a trans friend.
He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.
I eat dick.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.