Dick's jokes
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?
Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
*funny joke about dicks*
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?
Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.