Dick's jokes
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?
Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
*funny joke about dicks*
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?
Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.