Dick's jokes
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
I am gay, is that ok?
I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.
I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
What's that Pokemon that evolves into macargo?
Slugma.
Slugma dick.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Guys, why are we being racist? Why can't we love each other, please? Gimme that dick, boy. Please stop fighting. Let's love each other and them big ole dicks, please. Gimme that dick. I hate racism.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.