Dick's jokes

Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?

Crush: Candice.

Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?

Crush: *slaps me, walks away*

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."

Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.

Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."

Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."

Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.

I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.

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    • I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.

    When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.