Dick

Dick Jokes

Rapist

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

Sex

This dick ain't gon to suck itself.

<😏__ \ 👇 \ _/ 🍆\_

Twin Towers

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

Dinosaur

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Mom

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Sister

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

Hooker

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Woman

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

Girlfriend

I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.

As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."

Neighbor

Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?

Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

Guy

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Size

I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.

Difference

What's the difference between Monday and a dick?

They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.

Boy

Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?

Dentist

What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?

"I C D K"

You know what I see?

DICK

Boy

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."