Deer jokes
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
Still no fucking idea.
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
What is a doe called with no legs?
•" No legged deer."
What do you call a deer with no ears?
•" No eared deer."
What do you call a deer with no eye?
•" No eye deer."
XDDDDDD
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
Dear uncle, I want my condoms.
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!