Deer jokes
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
Still no fucking idea.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
What is a doe called with no legs?
•" No legged deer."
What do you call a deer with no ears?
•" No eared deer."
What do you call a deer with no eye?
•" No eye deer."
XDDDDDD
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."