Bargain

Bargain jokes

Slave

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Memes

Bargain memes

Demon

What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?

The Demon at least has a trade offer.

Hypocrite

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.

Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.

Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?

Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?

Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.

Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.

Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.

(5 seconds later)

Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!

Lighter

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

  • 1

    • Friend

    When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

  • 1

    • Wrist

    I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

  • 0

    • Wallet

    A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

    B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

  • 5