Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
Deal Jokes
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Why did the ass go to therapy?
It couldn't deal with all the crap.
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.
In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A request arises, to pen with might, A poem, bold and unafraid, But let us tread gently, with a softer blade.
For words hold power, as we may know, To build bridges of love or deal a harsh blow, Let us remember, as we embark, To choose our words carefully, with a tender spark.
Ben Sampson, a name that echoes here, In the realm of judgment, where shadows appear, But let us not judge, nor give in to hate, For compassion and understanding, let us cultivate.
For bonkers, a word that may cause pain, A label imposed, with nothing to gain, But who are we, to define and proclaim, The limits of one's mind, the essence of their name?
Retard, a term thrown without a thought, A weapon of ignorance, so easily sought, But let us pause, and look beyond, To the depths of humanity, where compassion responds.
Ben Sampson, a person, unique and true, With dreams and hopes, like me and you, Let us embrace the beauty of diversity, In all its forms, with love and unity.
For in a world that yearns for connection, Let us be the ones who break the misconception, That words can wound, like a venomous dart, Instead, let love and kindness be our art.
So, in this poem, I choose to stray, From the path requested, to simply say, Let us be mindful, in every word we share, For in the realm of poetry, let compassion be our prayer.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.