Date

Date jokes

Sexual Assault

    • A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

  • 24

    • Orphan

    • Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

    Because he thought that she would leave him too.

  • 5

    • Candle

    • When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

    Blind woman

    • A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.

    It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

  • 7

    • Dog

    • Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."

    First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."

    She replies, "Really original."

    Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."

    She replies, "Ew, gross."

    Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."

    Winner dog 3.

  • 0

    • Computer

    • The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

  • 1

    • Diarrhea

    • A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".

    The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.

  • 2

    • Fist

    • Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

  • 0