Give a man a match he'll be warm for a while but set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
what is the most dangerous mountain? kill-a-man-jaro
If you thought other people’s puns are bad well you should sea mine. https://d2v9y0dukr6mq2.cloudfront.net/video/thumbnail/Vfv9BDZagiltwcyiq/underwater-sea-mine-danger-weapon-deadly-naval-ocean-sea_hvqhxuzi__F0000.png
whats green and is dangerous
KERMIT WITH A FLIP KNIFE
Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
what did the pedophile say to the kid. "roses are red ,my name is dan ,i have a gun get in the van"
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.
then the antidote becomes the most important
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
what's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag ones plastic and dangerous to play with the other is to carry groceries.
A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
What weighs 5 oz and is very dangerous.
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
Why should you wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
