god sent to the principles office for giving a blind kid sun glasses and said dont let the sun damage your eyes.
I slit my wrist and said,"THATS A LOT OF DAMAGE!". So I did again, but with a knife and said,"NOW *THATS* ALOT OF DAMAGE!". I then put watertight Flexseal on the wound, and it didn't seal.
Apparently I'm not aloud home house fires, but the neighbours their house burnt lovely
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking then u lose your house
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet then leave with your house and car.
Why's it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car. So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage what so ever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof —and falls 15 stories to the ground. Splat. The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof
I made a AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very go chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
my jacket tore a little bit. it's a ripper.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, the comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged, he recieved a refund and an apollogy
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
A Lew runs into a wall what does he break? His Nose
A Mexican runs into a wall what does he break? His lawn Mower
Why did sally fall of the swing-someone chucked a brick at her. Why did sally through a clock out the window-she had brain damage from the brick.
