My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.
Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.
Blue sky at night, day.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
What the difference between normal sex and anal sex ?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
Why did the flamingo cross the road
Because it was the chickens day off
why do orphans have only 300 and 60 days coz dont have mother and fathers days.
2001/9/11 that day was fire
why does an orphans year only have 363 days, cause its missing mothers and fathers day
I went to jail because i gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days
(i deleted mother's day and father's day)
one day a teacher says:"what does a pig give us?" a student says:"bacon!" the teacher says:"good! now, what does a chicken give us?" a student says:"eggs!" the teacher says:"good! now, what does a fat cow give us?" a student says:"homework!" the whole class laughs
orphans have 263 days on a calendar because they dont have mothers or fathers day.
