Dais jokes

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

What do you call field day in Africa?

The Hunger Games.

Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?

Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.

I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

Where can white people cook better than Black people?

On Father’s Day.

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.