"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
What month has 28 days
By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
Leave a life if you LOL at this joke!
One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
I went to the super market one day and i saw a cEAsor salad for 69 dollars next minute someone comes up to me and says CAESOR DEEZ NUTZ
I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life
OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do for 3 hours , then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband
So I told an orphan to slap themselves untill they are wanted, I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves then I stopped them then told them to punch themselves. The next day a saw a dead orphan.
I don't get progressive leftists these days, they claim to be supporting BLM but they aren't pro-life
You know if you Poo on the toilet at 11:59 pm... then at 12:01 am, its just the same shit , different day.....
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh so you're still on the first episode then?"
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me "what's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? friend :why? me: because they don't have a mother or fathers day
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday? Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day. Teacher: Why is that your least favorite? Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive. Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
one day i seen a little boy walking in the grocery store so i asked if he was ok and he said yes i asked where his parents were and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk isle
why do orphans not like july 24th?? because its parents day
