Cucumber jokes
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Pickled carrots.
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.