Cucumber

Cucumber jokes

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.

The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.

A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?

A pickle.

What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

You need more dressing.