Cow jokes
Like if you blow male cows?
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Uranus craps diamonds and is a cow 🐮.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.