Contradiction jokes
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
Wanna hear somethin' ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."
Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."
Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."
Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."
Community talk
I think we should rid of or change microwaves! They are very misleading to young children! When you put 30 twice, it goes to 1:00. Whats that teaching children?!?! 30+30=100?! Wrong. That is not a harmless misunderstanding — it directly contradicts how we teach arithmetic. Children are pattern learners. When a machine visibly rewards an incorrect pattern, the brain stores it. This is not neutral. It is misleading. S… Read more
Am I the only one here who, after not having read it and trying to do what he said, finds themselves caught between the lines of yearly contradicting statements? One dumbass, quick to spout age and place, like it means anything, states with conviction where he stays, though stays what? Jumbled thoughts of those who jump, the ones who barely piece together meaning, and there they are, 14-year-olds or maybe something else, real scary. Like the edge of sense slipping, and who’s there to catch it? Not the one who read it, that’s for sure, because what he said isn’t even said, just echoes bouncing, contradicting every turn with a yearly grin.
I will start a new series called "Guy Facts You Probably Didn't Know" (You can contradict me if you don't agree).
Let's begin, shall we?
Guy Fact #1: Nowadays, guys are afraid to look at girls, for fear they will be called pedophiles and perverts.