Confidence

Confidence Jokes

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that youโ€™re pretty, but you ainโ€™t. Youโ€™re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.

Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.

Bully: u_u ......

Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Neona (๐Ÿ˜Ÿ): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

Gwen (๐Ÿ˜Œ): Yeah well, I believe in you.

Neona (๐Ÿ˜”): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

Gwen (๐Ÿ˜ ): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!

Neona (๐Ÿ˜ž): UGH fine!!!

Gwen (๐Ÿ˜‰): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!

Neona (๐Ÿ˜Š): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!