A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Algorithm.
Algorithm who?
Think Algorithm to the store.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
org.springframework.beans.factory.BeanCreationException: Error creating a bean with name X.
Baby > commits start breathing.
Mom > commits abort.
Baby > commits ohshit.exe
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.
