Computer Science Jokes

Student

A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"

The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

  • 5
  • Band

    I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

  • 8
  • Binary

    There are 10 types of people in this world.

    Those that know binary and those that don't.

    Programmer

    How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, that's a hardware problem.

    Bar

    An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

    Programming

    If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

    The rest of them will write Perl programs.

    Programmer

    A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."

    Bill Gates

    Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

    Band

    I started a band called 1023 megabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig.

    Momma

    Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

    School

    What do inner city schools and databases have in common?

    Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.

    Programming

    Unpopular opinion about programming but,

    "Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'myUnpopularOpinion' of undefined."

    Misunderstanding

    My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

    ...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

    Binary

    There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.

    Bean

    org.springframework.beans.factory.BeanCreationException: Error creating a bean with name X.