Computer Science jokes
My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...
...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
Unpopular opinion about programming but,
"Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'myUnpopularOpinion' of undefined."
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Algorithm.
Algorithm who?
Think Algorithm to the store.
8 bit: Are you ok?
7 bit: Yes, I’m just a bit off...
Get it? 8 bits = a byte :)
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
org.springframework.beans.factory.BeanCreationException: Error creating a bean with name X.
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.
I started a band called 1023 megabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
Baby > commits start breathing.
Mom > commits abort.
Baby > commits ohshit.exe
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.