Computer Science Jokes

Misunderstanding

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

Programming

Unpopular opinion about programming but,

"Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'myUnpopularOpinion' of undefined."

Bit

8 bit: Are you ok?

7 bit: Yes, I’m just a bit off...

Get it? 8 bits = a byte :)

Momma

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Bean

org.springframework.beans.factory.BeanCreationException: Error creating a bean with name X.

Reincarnation

What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?

Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.

Band

I started a band called 1023 megabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig.

Band

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

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  • Baby

    Baby > commits start breathing.

    Mom > commits abort.

    Baby > commits ohshit.exe

    School

    What do inner city schools and databases have in common?

    Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.

    Bill Gates

    Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

    Binary

    There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.

    Programming

    If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

    The rest of them will write Perl programs.

    Programmer

    A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."

    Student

    A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

    The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"

    The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

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