Communism jokes
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
Communists don't play Minecraft.
They play Ourcraft.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
Communism is actually kinda tight.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
"Sharing is communism."
I love Communism.
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
Old soviet joke.
"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.