Communism jokes

Capitalism.

In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.

The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.

"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?

They are all disabilities.

Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.

Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.

When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism

What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.

Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS Arrrrr.