Common jokes
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
What's long, hard, and bloody?
The Boston Marathon.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.