College jokes
Dear Grad Parents,
Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.
There will be more information to follow in the coming days.
Thank you.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?
Bye-son.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.
Who is better than Alabama?
CLEMSON TIGERS!
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."