Climbing jokes

I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Climb high, climb far,

Get high, get far.

How do you get a monkey off the wall?

You jerk him off!

Yo mama so stupid... She tried to climb...

Mountain Dew!

When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:

Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.

Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?

He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.

What's the laziest mountain?

Mount Ever-rest.

The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.

The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.

The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.

The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."

This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

Marciukas climbing ranked ladder su dravenu 8 sezone XDD.

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.

My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.

What's big and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge.