Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."
The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Why did the girl bring the ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
What is the Mexicans favorite sports?
Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.
I have always been scared of stairs they’re always up to something
