Clap jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
What is the definition of clapped?
Ur mum when I am in her bed.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Why can't the T-Rex clap?
Because they're extinct!
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Why could you not hear the dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Your mamma so fat Thanos had to clap 4 times.
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.