For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
What’s and orphans favorite beer? Fosters
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.
