What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
