Child jokes
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
How are feminists different from gorillas? At least gorillas don't abort their own children.
What do you call an autistic daughter?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause there's no home base...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.