anything can be funny with the right delivery except for abortion jokes cause there is no delivery
Can I tell you a cat joke? Yes cause its purrfect
What do inner city schools and database have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here
Do want to know why they call it an orphanage? Cause they couldn't call it orphans home
Why are Retards good at Basketball? Cause they Dribble all the time!
Who’s the fastest reader
Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories
"TINY HANDS, EVEN TINIER BRAIN" ==========================
(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic :
......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man ? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE "HUMP"
. . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL !!
.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse !! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS !! ..... sniff,sniff ........ Ewww !" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk !... I better go, 'cause I just went !! ..... Ha! ha! ha!"
......"Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen ! Good Night !!" ............
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')
"OH LORDY !!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen. ==============================
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything
Why didn't steven Hawkins get into fights
Cause he couldn't stand up for himself
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity then the SantaFe school shooting?
Cause Royal Weddings dont happen every week.
whys hughs mum so fucking fat cause she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6789.
why do Asians don’t wear contacts.... CAUSE THEY CANT FITT
by Roni Cung
When Stephen hawking died i assume his computer crash caused it
why did hitler say nein. cause he just got raped bitch
Why did the bike fall over? 'Cause it was wheely tired.
My friend txted me and asked me "Hey. Whts ur favorit emoji?" I said "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬" She said "why?" I said "Cause its your twin"
question: Why cant you trust tree? answer: Cause they are always shaddy
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin
