You're

You're Jokes

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ̈Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! ̈ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ̈Yes sir! ̈ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ̈Forks and knives, forks and knives! ̈ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ̈Goody-goody gumdrops! ̈ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You ́re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!

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- I think you ́re EGGcellent. + Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you`re a EGGxtraordinary comedian. - Really? Are you done yet?. + Are you kidding? a have a DOZEN of them.

1.You can ́t wash you ́re eyes with soap 2.You can ́t count you ́re hair 3.You can ́t breathe through you nose with youre tongue out 4.You just tried number three 5.When u tried number 3 u realized it was possible only u look like a dog 6.Youre smileing right now because you relized you were fooloed 7.you skipped number 5 8.you just checked if there was a number 5 9.This is not my joke all credit goes to steps

You can pick your friends and you can pick your 👃nose but you can't pick you're friends noses 👃 Does it cycle now? 🚲

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid, A banana. But if you`re vegan you call him food. If you`re poor you eat the skin.

so i walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies i stole one not noticing my mom was behind me.....so my mom said PUT THE COOKIE BACK KID!!!!and i said i wasn ́t gonna eat it and she said then she said nevermind i ́ll get you ́re father so my mom said HONEY DEAL WITH YOURE SON I ́M GOING TO THE MALL!! and my dad said son if ur not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!!so he went into his room and i heard the belt and i was going to run but i knew it would be worse so he said this will be you ́re punishment as he was getting ready to hit me i said daddy no please i wasnt gonna was not going to eat it but he said NO U WONT CHANGE MY MIND LITTLE BOY then he hit me THANK YOU FOR READING STAY HEALTHY AND STAY SAFE IN THIS TIME BYE!!! read more of my jokes they ́ll prob be around the website!!