A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked. "Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied. "Heard of what?" "Herd of cows." "Of course I've heard of cows." "No, a cow herd." "What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
Why was sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
Papyrus:sans your jokes are bad! Sans:I don’t care I got thick skin
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. last time she just let it go.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,"whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,"wow I can't believe you did it! So whats your prize?" the guy says,"I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 7 percent?
If u r talking to Indian and noticed a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what u said... They r recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home. He'll probably leave her alone now. He doesn't eat vegetables.
a Woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay ?
Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler
Guy 1: yeah me too i don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series
Guy 2: omg what did i just say i wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<
Guy 1: like i do care :$
Guy 3: but i do care :<
Guy 1: fu*k you
Guy 3: do it
Guy 2: but you do care about me
Guy 3: no
Guy 2: fu*k you
Guy 3: do it
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
One day a snail got robbed by two turtles. The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles)
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life. I don't care about her life either hahahaha!!;)
What's the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Most people smother babies with love. I smother them with pillows
What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
I get more care packages than Africa
I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.
Canada has free heath-care, here is a link to some Canada Facts!https://www.1stcontact.com/blog/20-interesting-facts-about-canada
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
What’s white and sticky? A white mans penis after taking care of his neighbours dog
