Cant jokes
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck dick.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
Why can't a t-rex clap?
Because it's dead.
What's one thing gay people can't draw?
A straight line.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."