Cant jokes
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Why can’t orphans play softball?
They can’t find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
Why is America bad at Clash Royale?
Because they can't defend their towers.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can't go home.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
Oooh, I fall apart. Oooh, yeah, mmhmm. She told me that I'm not enough, yeah, And she left me with a broken heart, yeah. She fooled me twice and it's all my fault, yeah. She cut too deep, now she left me scarred, yeah. Now there's too many thoughts goin' through my brain, yeah, And now I'm takin' these shots like it's Novocaine, yeah. Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Never caught a feelin' this hard Harder than the liquor I pour Tell me you don't want me no more But I can't let go Everybody told me so Feelin' like I sold my soul Devil in the form of a whore Devil in the form of a whore You said it No, you said it No, you said it We'd be together Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Ice keep pourin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' Covered in scars and I can't help showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin' Ice keep droppin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' All these scars, can't help from showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin', yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.