Cant jokes

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.

What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?

They can't find the home button.

10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.

You can't convince me otherwise.

Asian Grading scale: A- Average.

B- Half Average.

C- Stupid idiot!

D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!

F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!

Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?

Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!

Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?

Because they’ll get stoned.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?

Because they blow up in your face.