A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded? I can Nazi!
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a uni cycle
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, "You can have anything you want.""
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Theres an outbreak of the foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven
Why dont witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
What’s the only time you can do almost whatever you want
When you have a gun in you hand
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. -- If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely? Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
