Canning jokes

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?

One dead baby in ten trash cans.

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support its family.

Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?

Because no one wants him.

Why can orphans just be gay?

Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."

I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.