Canning jokes

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk home from school today?

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.

What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?

One dead baby in ten trash cans.

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.

Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?

He didn't either.

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!

I guess you can say he xxxpired.