You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Canning Jokes
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
Why can orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁.
Which restaurants can an orphan not go to?
A family restaurant.
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?
🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.
