Canning jokes

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!

Yo mama, why do you have to jump in the pool as soon as I can find the water on Mario? I mean, Mario jump to Mars!

A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"

Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."

Genie: Poof!

Tom: It didn't work.

Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!

Why can orphans travel so much?

They don't get homesick.

What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.

What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.

Why can't orphans have gay sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?

Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!

Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!