Canning jokes
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 7 seconds.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Why should China be a baseball team?
Because they can take out the entire world with just one bat!
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
Memes
i need coffee where can i get some
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never hit a homerun.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!