Canning jokes

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

Why should China be a baseball team?

Because they can take out the entire world with just one bat!

What kind of cake can an orphan not have?

Homemade.

If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"

Why do orphans love Oreos?

Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!

What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?

They can both flash.

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.

What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?

Have a blood transfusion.

Why did the dinosaur take a bath?

So it can get ex-stinked!

Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?